A-League All-Stars 8-0 Newcastle — Match Report: Humbled ...

In a match watched by Socceroos coach Graham Arnold, the A-League Men All-Stars defeated a young Newcastle United team 8-0 at Marvel Stadium.

Wellington’s Ben Old opened the scoring in the fifth minute, followed by Western Sydney’s Nicolas Milanovic adding another 20 minutes later. Socceroo Adam Taggart scored in the 34th minute, with Newcastle Jets’ Apostolos Stamatelopoulos netting twice in the 62nd and 74th minutes. Jake Hollman, Jordan Courtney-Perkins, and Bozhidar Kraev scored late goals to complete the rout.

Newcastle’s senior players, who played in Wednesday’s friendly against Tottenham at the MCG, had returned home, turning this game into an impossible one to win by the Baby Magpies.

Eddie Howe fielded an inexperienced team without any Premier League starts, even though Lewis Hall, Elliot Anderson, and Kieran Trippier were available although they stayed on the bench and were not used at all.

Young fringe Socceroo Garang Kuol started the game for Newcastle and showed promise early on but the All-Stars soon took control. Sydney veteran Rhyan Grant set up Milanovic, who assisted Mathew Leckie. Leckie’s pressure play led to Old’s first-time finish. Milanovic scored next after capitalizing on a defensive error from Newcastle’s Dylan Charlton. Angus Thurgate then intercepted a poor pass to assist Taggart for a powerful bottom-corner finish.

Stamatelopoulos, who came on at halftime, scored twice more, with the first goal following a burst forward and a strong finish, and the second coming from a cross by teen sensation Irankunda, who had just entered the game. Irankunda also played a role in Hollman’s goal in the 82nd minute, before Courtney-Perkins and Kraev added the final two goals.

Newcastle’s squad, arriving in Australia on Tuesday after their weekend victory over Brentford, was in the country for less than four days. The tour, aimed at boosting the club’s brand, saw Newcastle receive remuneration, though not impactful enough to change the upcoming summer transfer window script.

Now, everybody is questioning whether or not this trip made any sense at all because of the environmental impact, player welfare, and shameful performance of the Magpies against a team full of second-tier (in the context of world football) players from the Australian league.

Reflecting on the match, Howe simply said, “I don’t think we could have involved any first-team players given the travel and quick turnaround. It would have been too risky for injuries. We gave an opportunity to the younger lads, and they found it tough today. The All-Stars played very well, and we need to reflect and come back stronger.”

Whatever.

The All-Stars’ victory was their first against European opposition, having previously lost to Manchester United, Juventus, and Barcelona.

Kudos to them, and kudos to the folks in black and white (or green on Friday, actually) for not returning to the British islands banged up and injured.

On to Euro 2024!